Here Comes Fall!

All through the 100+ degree days we had this summer, I longed for fall.  I'm not a big fan of heat (although I was thankful that our heat was not accompanied by humidity), and often remember the cool climate of Laramie in a manner that could be described as wistful.  So every time I stepped out of my front door into a day that felt like an oven, I looked forward to the cooler days of fall.

It seems they have arrived!  As I type, the window near me is open and cool morning air is blowing in to my house.  Sure, I'll still have to shut up all the windows and turn on the air conditioner at some point, but this evening it will be cool enough to take a walk or putter in the garden for a while.

And of course, with fall come all sorts of good things.  We've started on our school year, and the kids seem to be enjoying that.  The garden is producing all sorts of good things to eat and preserve.  And the calendar at Shepherd's Staff is filling up.  We've got some great events planned for this fall (you can visit www.shepherdstaff.org or find Shepherd's Staff, Inc. on FaceBook to check them out).

There's something about this time of year that is energizing to me.  Instead of wishing I could just lie on the floor until the weather gets cooler, I'm excited to go pick zucchini and tomatoes from the garden.  Evenings are filled with lesson plans and design work instead of longing looks at the current novel.

And yes, I am aware that fall doesn't officially start until September 20-somethingth, so maybe this is Indian summer (or just late summer) that I am celebrating, but I don't care.  I'm just glad it's here.

Every Year Is Busier...And The Cracks Get Bigger

I keep remembering the first year we were here.  No one new us yet, we hadn't committed to many activities, and life was quiet.  We had time to invite people over, to head to the pool two or three times a week, and my (Gwen's) office duties didn't seem to present much of a problem.

Two years later, it's a different story.  We've been to the pool a total of four times, haven't done much entertaining at all, and it seems like it is all I can do to get the bare minimum done at the office and still keep our own home from the brink of chaos.

It's always been a family goal to be involved with the community, so we attend many community events.  This year the kids participated in 4-H and the county fair for the first time, and that was quite the experience!  We also now work almost year-round on the Christian Workers Conference, so that's back on our plates.  I'm also going to be teaching piano lessons one evening a week in Colby.

And all of these are good activities...but I've been feeling pretty full lately.  As I look to the beginning of the school year, I keep trying to figure out how to juggle things so that everything will fit.  I know that the "big" things need to be prioritized:  things like school and meaningful time with the kids, and that the smaller things should be fitted in around the big things (instead of letting myself fill up my life with less important things and then trying to figure out how to do the big things)...but how does that really work in a practical manner?

How do we find the balance between family and work, structure and not-so-structured, me-time and family-time?  And what about the things that are sure to fall through the cracks?  Some of those things will have my name on them, and I don't want to be associated with missed deadlines or poor workmanship.  But the truth is, there's too much work here for Tim and me to handle even if we work 24/7.  So how do we figure out which things to let slide and which ones to concentrate on?

So...keep us in your prayers:

• There's a big need for more missionary-supported staff to join the team at Shepherd's Staff.  Pray that God will lead these people to us in His perfect timing.
• Pray for strength, encouragement, endurance.  Pray that we will give our best to whatever we do.
• Pray for wisdom as we strive to make the right choices, give the right things priority.

Are You Like Nico?

I've been reading through John recently, and for the past few days have sort of camped in John 3.  There's so much here:  Jesus' meeting with Nicodemus, everyone's favorite verse (John 3:16), John the Baptist's views.  But the thing that stuck in my mind is verse ten.

Jesus has been meeting with Nicodemus, and for every concept Jesus tries to get across, Nico has more questions.  Finally, Jesus seems to get exasperated.  "You are Israel's teacher, and do you not understand these things?"  Do you hear the frustration there?

Nico has spent years studying God's word.  Of all people, he should recognize the fulfillment of all of the prophecies, God's true answer to the problem of sin.  And yet, when the answer is literally staring him in the face, he can't seem to get his head around it.  He has the best resources and the best teaching, but can't understand, even when Jesus puts things in the most simple terms.

So I've spent the week wondering if I'm like Nico.  I'm in ministry--in a position to help others understand God's sovereign plan.  I have access to so many study aids and online Bible commentaries and thick books explaining concepts that it would make your head swim.  But do I really get it?  Am I able to take those concepts and translate them into practical Christian life?

The section about Nico ends with verse twenty-one:  "But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God."  It's my prayer this week that I will live by the truth, and that others will see Christ shining through me, that I won't miss the obvious truth, that I will be able to apply the truth to my actions.

Quiet Times

The kids (all three of them!) are in Nebraska this week, attending camp and visiting Tim's parents.  It's a weird sort of quiet here.  Things stay where I put them, entire TV shows get watched without interruption, projects are being completed. But there's also less laughter, fewer entertaining comments, no piano lessons being plunked out in the living room.  After the hustle of the first two crazy weeks of June (VBS at our church and then Creative Arts Camp), this feels like going from 100 mph to 10.

Jesalynn is attending Camp Rock this week.  It was neat for me to realize that I was eight, as she is, when I went for my first summer there.  I have been praying all week that she would have fun, that God would work in her heart during this time.

Did you know that Tim also attended Camp Rock from the time he was eight, and that he came to know Christ as Savior there?  We also met at Camp Rock, served as summer missionaries the summer we got married, and you might remember that our first full-time ministry point was--you guessed it--Camp Rock.  This organization has made such an impact in our lives.  We grew as campers, as staff--even leaving the ministry was a time of learning to rely on God's plan instead of our own.
And now our children (Tyson heads out there next week) are bringing it all full circle.

I was sad that I didn't get to be a part of this camping experience with them.  Due to our schedule, they road out to Nebraska with Tim's parents and will return with them at the end of next week.  I had hoped to get to be a part of the drop-off or pick-up process, and it was hard to let go of that.  But it's been a good week--relaxing, productive, quiet--and I will be so excited to see them at the end of next week.
Speaking of which, Tyson will turn 10 on July 1.

Where has that time gone?

I feel like we are doing a good job of enjoying the moments with our kids, not pushing for them to grow up but rather experiencing each stage to the fullest; but it still feels like the time is flying too fast.  I see glimpses of a young man in my little boy's face.  I hear a young woman sometimes in Jesalynn's turn of phrase.  I listen to Natasha pray with a maturity that belies her five years.  And I want to hold on, to remember all of these little things, to be able to pull them back out and relive those moments even when the kids are grown.  That's the reason for my xanga blog (www.xanga.com/gwennieg).  I look forward to reading that with the kids someday, laughing over the quirky little things they did.

Well, I'm getting rambly, and it's probably time to get some things done this morning.  Thanks for listening.

It used to be so hard for me to drag myself out of bed anytime before 8 am.  Even after the kids came, getting up was a struggle.  And then we moved to Laramie.  I don't know what made the difference, but I found myself wide awake sometime between 5:30 and 6:30 most mornings.  Sometimes I would lay in bed and pray, other times I would get up and head to the rec center for a workout.

Now that we're in Kansas, I try to get out and walk in those early mornings.  I head east out of town and sometimes Jesalynn comes with me.  If she's along, she chatters about whatever is on her mind and heart, and I listen.  I'm not a big talker that early in the morning.

If Jesalynn isn't along, I pray and think.   I love walking this time of morning.  The wheat fields are just starting to turn, the birds sing, and usually the wind is quiet.  So I'll walk into the sun, and it's always a good reminder of God's glory--so amazing that no one can truly see it.  But when I turn around to head back home, I discover this beautiful landscape.  When I was facing the sun, the colors were washed out in comparison to the rising sun, but with the sun behind me the greens are brighter, the shadows deeper.

And this week, heading back to town, I was thinking about life.  Sometimes as we're living the actual experience we don't get a clear picture of what's really happening, how everything works together.  But when we're past that point and we look back, we see the whole picture.  The shadows and the low spots add depth, while the parts the sun shines upon add highlights.  What appeared to be a random smattering of little wildflowers turns out to be an entire field.

There have been so many times in our lives when we couldn't see the whole picture.  We didn't want to leave Camp Rock.  We couldn't understand why God called us from Laramie--especially to Kansas!  We've seen kids who seemed to be following God whole heartedly turn and run away from Him.  But it is encouraging to know that God can see the entire journey--what we have already traveled and what we have left before us.  He is in control--He has it all planned out--and it will be beautiful when He is finished!

Pushing, Pulling, Leading, Drawing

I was thinking about the responsibility we as parents bear in showing Christ to our children.  When they are little, we can carry (take?) them to the feet of Jesus--telling them about Him, taking them to church, praying with them.  (And I'm not saying we "get them saved"--I'm just saying we show them the way, to the best of our ability.)

But as they get older, we have less and less "control" (for lack of a better word) in leading our children to a knowledge of Christ.  Yes, we continue to model and show them, but we cannot push them into Jesus' arms.  In fact, pushing them there will probably push them away from Christ.

We have to lead by example, model the joys of a life in Christ, and trust God to draw them in His timing.

Does that even make sense?  It sounded so eloquent when I was thinking about it, less so when I started typing.  Push back...tell me what you think.

I'm Followin' Jesus!

I've been pondering a lot lately the concept of honoring God--the ramifications, the process.  How do you honor God when you aren't sure what He wants in a given situation?  Is anything you do okay, as long as you're trying to honor God when you do it?

I cannot tell you the frustration we feel sometimes, feeling that we have a clear calling to serve God at Shepherd's Staff, and yet feeling that we have to fight every step of the way toward fulfilling that calling.  It has been amazing to see groups here at Shepherd's Staff--men's group who are intentionally seeking to develop godly manhood, youth retreats where young people learn how to answer the hard questions about their faith, opportunities for fathers to date their daughters.

At the same time, there is much resistance to growth at Shepherd's Staff.  We feel and see Satan working to divide staff, to bring doubt into our lives, to stop God's work here in Rexford.

So...will you pray for us over the course of the next few weeks?  Pray that God will be honored by our thoughts, words and actions.  Pray that others will see God's light shining through the ministry of Shepherd's Staff.  Thanks.