Quiet Times

The kids (all three of them!) are in Nebraska this week, attending camp and visiting Tim's parents.  It's a weird sort of quiet here.  Things stay where I put them, entire TV shows get watched without interruption, projects are being completed. But there's also less laughter, fewer entertaining comments, no piano lessons being plunked out in the living room.  After the hustle of the first two crazy weeks of June (VBS at our church and then Creative Arts Camp), this feels like going from 100 mph to 10.

Jesalynn is attending Camp Rock this week.  It was neat for me to realize that I was eight, as she is, when I went for my first summer there.  I have been praying all week that she would have fun, that God would work in her heart during this time.

Did you know that Tim also attended Camp Rock from the time he was eight, and that he came to know Christ as Savior there?  We also met at Camp Rock, served as summer missionaries the summer we got married, and you might remember that our first full-time ministry point was--you guessed it--Camp Rock.  This organization has made such an impact in our lives.  We grew as campers, as staff--even leaving the ministry was a time of learning to rely on God's plan instead of our own.
And now our children (Tyson heads out there next week) are bringing it all full circle.

I was sad that I didn't get to be a part of this camping experience with them.  Due to our schedule, they road out to Nebraska with Tim's parents and will return with them at the end of next week.  I had hoped to get to be a part of the drop-off or pick-up process, and it was hard to let go of that.  But it's been a good week--relaxing, productive, quiet--and I will be so excited to see them at the end of next week.
Speaking of which, Tyson will turn 10 on July 1.

Where has that time gone?

I feel like we are doing a good job of enjoying the moments with our kids, not pushing for them to grow up but rather experiencing each stage to the fullest; but it still feels like the time is flying too fast.  I see glimpses of a young man in my little boy's face.  I hear a young woman sometimes in Jesalynn's turn of phrase.  I listen to Natasha pray with a maturity that belies her five years.  And I want to hold on, to remember all of these little things, to be able to pull them back out and relive those moments even when the kids are grown.  That's the reason for my xanga blog (www.xanga.com/gwennieg).  I look forward to reading that with the kids someday, laughing over the quirky little things they did.

Well, I'm getting rambly, and it's probably time to get some things done this morning.  Thanks for listening.

It used to be so hard for me to drag myself out of bed anytime before 8 am.  Even after the kids came, getting up was a struggle.  And then we moved to Laramie.  I don't know what made the difference, but I found myself wide awake sometime between 5:30 and 6:30 most mornings.  Sometimes I would lay in bed and pray, other times I would get up and head to the rec center for a workout.

Now that we're in Kansas, I try to get out and walk in those early mornings.  I head east out of town and sometimes Jesalynn comes with me.  If she's along, she chatters about whatever is on her mind and heart, and I listen.  I'm not a big talker that early in the morning.

If Jesalynn isn't along, I pray and think.   I love walking this time of morning.  The wheat fields are just starting to turn, the birds sing, and usually the wind is quiet.  So I'll walk into the sun, and it's always a good reminder of God's glory--so amazing that no one can truly see it.  But when I turn around to head back home, I discover this beautiful landscape.  When I was facing the sun, the colors were washed out in comparison to the rising sun, but with the sun behind me the greens are brighter, the shadows deeper.

And this week, heading back to town, I was thinking about life.  Sometimes as we're living the actual experience we don't get a clear picture of what's really happening, how everything works together.  But when we're past that point and we look back, we see the whole picture.  The shadows and the low spots add depth, while the parts the sun shines upon add highlights.  What appeared to be a random smattering of little wildflowers turns out to be an entire field.

There have been so many times in our lives when we couldn't see the whole picture.  We didn't want to leave Camp Rock.  We couldn't understand why God called us from Laramie--especially to Kansas!  We've seen kids who seemed to be following God whole heartedly turn and run away from Him.  But it is encouraging to know that God can see the entire journey--what we have already traveled and what we have left before us.  He is in control--He has it all planned out--and it will be beautiful when He is finished!

Pushing, Pulling, Leading, Drawing

I was thinking about the responsibility we as parents bear in showing Christ to our children.  When they are little, we can carry (take?) them to the feet of Jesus--telling them about Him, taking them to church, praying with them.  (And I'm not saying we "get them saved"--I'm just saying we show them the way, to the best of our ability.)

But as they get older, we have less and less "control" (for lack of a better word) in leading our children to a knowledge of Christ.  Yes, we continue to model and show them, but we cannot push them into Jesus' arms.  In fact, pushing them there will probably push them away from Christ.

We have to lead by example, model the joys of a life in Christ, and trust God to draw them in His timing.

Does that even make sense?  It sounded so eloquent when I was thinking about it, less so when I started typing.  Push back...tell me what you think.

I'm Followin' Jesus!

I've been pondering a lot lately the concept of honoring God--the ramifications, the process.  How do you honor God when you aren't sure what He wants in a given situation?  Is anything you do okay, as long as you're trying to honor God when you do it?

I cannot tell you the frustration we feel sometimes, feeling that we have a clear calling to serve God at Shepherd's Staff, and yet feeling that we have to fight every step of the way toward fulfilling that calling.  It has been amazing to see groups here at Shepherd's Staff--men's group who are intentionally seeking to develop godly manhood, youth retreats where young people learn how to answer the hard questions about their faith, opportunities for fathers to date their daughters.

At the same time, there is much resistance to growth at Shepherd's Staff.  We feel and see Satan working to divide staff, to bring doubt into our lives, to stop God's work here in Rexford.

So...will you pray for us over the course of the next few weeks?  Pray that God will be honored by our thoughts, words and actions.  Pray that others will see God's light shining through the ministry of Shepherd's Staff.  Thanks.

Little Bits

Tim is in LaGrange this week, speaking to students at Frontier School of the Bible about ministry and ministry opportunities at Shepherd's Staff.  One unexpected blessing for him was the number of students there that we have worked with in past ministries.  Last night he talked with a young man we knew during our time in Laramie; today he chatted with students that had attended Camp Rock and encouraged a young lady that we know because of our time at Shepherd's Staff.  It is always neat to see how God connects different parts of our lives.

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I wanted to share a couple of snippets from our lives...things that have been running through my head but haven't made it to paper or screen.  The kids are finishing their Awana year next week and we are so proud of each of them.  Nattie completed her Cubbies book, Jesalynn finished her last Sparks book and did the review, and Tyson is working on the last section of his T&T book.  His assignment was to choose one of the question and answer sets he studied throughout the year, find "backup" verses, and tell how this applied to his life.  I want to share some of his words with you:

"The answer I chose is "I need to know that God wants me to honor Him.  To honor God means to love and adore Him.  If you honor God, you do the things that He tells you to do...Some things you could do to honor God are you can honor your parents.  You could do what He says every day.  Or you could clean your church every week.  Anything you do with love for God is honoring God...One way this answer goes to work in my life is that when I honor Him I feel good.  As you honor God more you get closer with God, making your relationship with Him stronger."

It is so rewarding to see one of our children expressing his growing relationship with Christ!

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For the past few years we have prayed with the kids every night before bed, and on Sundays we specifically pray for their "someday husband" or "someday wife".  As I pray with the girls, I ask God to be drawing that special person to Himself, to develop him into someone that can lead, protect, and provide for each girl.  Tim prays with Tyson for his future wife, and I often hear Tyson close with "...and help me to be the man of God that You want me to be."

It has struck me that they may not understand everything that we are praying for them, but I hope that they will internalize these characteristics that they will be to search for or incorporate as adults.  Parenting is such a process--so many things we do today won't truly come to fruition until years from now.

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Lastly, we're coming up on the end of our second full year of ministry with Shepherd's Staff.  The last two years have been rewarding, challenging, difficult, encouraging, and so much more!  Thank you for being a part of our ministry through your prayers, support, and friendship.  We couldn't do it without you!

Did I mention that we went on vacation?  It was lovely.  Lots of sleeping in and lazing about, too much eating out, and random forays into education:  museums, a salt mine, etc.  Oh--and 3 or 4 days spent with Gwen's sister.

Of course, we had to come home eventually.  And then we promptly left again, this time for a Fine Arts Festival for homeschoolers, held in Garden City.  Tyson and Jesalynn each did well with their piano solos, bible recitations and poetry recitations.

We learned Friday that Tim's Grandpa Pulver had passed away, so we found ourselves in the car again, headed for Minnesota.  We're back home, and while I plan not to leave again any time soon, Tim will be heading to Fremont on Sunday to be with his dad during a prostate surgery on Monday.

On another note, I love how the family of God looks out for its members.  A friend from Laramie sent me a "heads up" email a while back, asking me to be on the lookout for a new family in Colby.  Two of the kids ended up on my AWANA team last night, and I got to meet the mom.  I'm excited to be able to get to know a family with kids our age, who probably share our values.  It's something we've been praying about for a while.  Hopefully we can be an encouragement to this family as they adjust to small-town life.

Relaxing...

We made it through the Christian Workers Conference! It was held Saturday, March 3 at Heartland Christian School. God brought about 150 people (including workshop leaders and volunteers) to the conference. Our goal for the conference is to connect rural congregations with resources and training, and I really feel like we accomplished this goal. We've had many positive comments from attendees--that they took back information and technique that they would be able to use right away.

This week our family is relaxing a bit. We've been in to the office to do some work, but we are also spending time with the kids and just trying to catch up. On Monday we'll take a week and a half for vacation--something we're all looking forward to!