It used to be so hard for me to drag myself out of bed anytime before 8 am.  Even after the kids came, getting up was a struggle.  And then we moved to Laramie.  I don't know what made the difference, but I found myself wide awake sometime between 5:30 and 6:30 most mornings.  Sometimes I would lay in bed and pray, other times I would get up and head to the rec center for a workout.

Now that we're in Kansas, I try to get out and walk in those early mornings.  I head east out of town and sometimes Jesalynn comes with me.  If she's along, she chatters about whatever is on her mind and heart, and I listen.  I'm not a big talker that early in the morning.

If Jesalynn isn't along, I pray and think.   I love walking this time of morning.  The wheat fields are just starting to turn, the birds sing, and usually the wind is quiet.  So I'll walk into the sun, and it's always a good reminder of God's glory--so amazing that no one can truly see it.  But when I turn around to head back home, I discover this beautiful landscape.  When I was facing the sun, the colors were washed out in comparison to the rising sun, but with the sun behind me the greens are brighter, the shadows deeper.

And this week, heading back to town, I was thinking about life.  Sometimes as we're living the actual experience we don't get a clear picture of what's really happening, how everything works together.  But when we're past that point and we look back, we see the whole picture.  The shadows and the low spots add depth, while the parts the sun shines upon add highlights.  What appeared to be a random smattering of little wildflowers turns out to be an entire field.

There have been so many times in our lives when we couldn't see the whole picture.  We didn't want to leave Camp Rock.  We couldn't understand why God called us from Laramie--especially to Kansas!  We've seen kids who seemed to be following God whole heartedly turn and run away from Him.  But it is encouraging to know that God can see the entire journey--what we have already traveled and what we have left before us.  He is in control--He has it all planned out--and it will be beautiful when He is finished!

Pushing, Pulling, Leading, Drawing

I was thinking about the responsibility we as parents bear in showing Christ to our children.  When they are little, we can carry (take?) them to the feet of Jesus--telling them about Him, taking them to church, praying with them.  (And I'm not saying we "get them saved"--I'm just saying we show them the way, to the best of our ability.)

But as they get older, we have less and less "control" (for lack of a better word) in leading our children to a knowledge of Christ.  Yes, we continue to model and show them, but we cannot push them into Jesus' arms.  In fact, pushing them there will probably push them away from Christ.

We have to lead by example, model the joys of a life in Christ, and trust God to draw them in His timing.

Does that even make sense?  It sounded so eloquent when I was thinking about it, less so when I started typing.  Push back...tell me what you think.

I'm Followin' Jesus!

I've been pondering a lot lately the concept of honoring God--the ramifications, the process.  How do you honor God when you aren't sure what He wants in a given situation?  Is anything you do okay, as long as you're trying to honor God when you do it?

I cannot tell you the frustration we feel sometimes, feeling that we have a clear calling to serve God at Shepherd's Staff, and yet feeling that we have to fight every step of the way toward fulfilling that calling.  It has been amazing to see groups here at Shepherd's Staff--men's group who are intentionally seeking to develop godly manhood, youth retreats where young people learn how to answer the hard questions about their faith, opportunities for fathers to date their daughters.

At the same time, there is much resistance to growth at Shepherd's Staff.  We feel and see Satan working to divide staff, to bring doubt into our lives, to stop God's work here in Rexford.

So...will you pray for us over the course of the next few weeks?  Pray that God will be honored by our thoughts, words and actions.  Pray that others will see God's light shining through the ministry of Shepherd's Staff.  Thanks.